today, bragging is becoming a greater norm. social media foster bragging by providing a microphone for all of us to share the things that are important to us and get attention for it.
With all of the social networks available to blast your good deeds and success stories, when is it appropriate to talk about yourself in a positive way? Should we all feel the guilt of social cost when sending a post about our accomplishments?
No way!
There is a fine line of health in the center of narcissism and humility that has become a social norm in recent years – learn how to walk it!
What does Bad Bragging look like?
“Bragging can leave a positive first impression”, says Simine Vazire, associate professor in personality science in psychology at Washington University in St. Louis, “but it is inappropriate to brag to close friends.” She explains that our close friends are included in our “ups” and “downs” and bragging is annoying in the sense that it provides a false-truth about who the person is. The tendency of the bragger is to paint a one-sided picture about their lives that leaves an impression that they are dishonest. Close friends and family members already know that our lives are not perfect, so it doesn’t make any sense to paint it that way.
Social media has the tendency to amplify this effect by providing only snapshots of what people are doing – whether its 140 characters on Twitter, photos on Facebook and Twitter, or punchy two-liners about job experiences on LinkedIn. According to Benoit Monin, professor of psychology and organizational behavior at Stanford University, social media can lead to feelings of resentment due to guilt perceived by the braggers audience.
Monin gives the example of the bragger posting on Facebook how “green, vegan, or environmentally concerned” they are in a way that can be perceived as implied judgment. No one likes to be judged and braggers often brag vs. taking a position on a topic! The result is that the audience feels threatened by the implied judgment and they also feel guilty feeling as if they are not doing enough. This type of bragging causes resentment between the bragger and the audience causing a social loss over time.
