What to do when people don’t like your baby name

It can come as a horrible shock when the name we’ve carefully chosen for our new baby meets with a less than delighted reception. Even celebrities aren’t immune to this experience – Scarlett Johansson revealed that her mother-in-law wasn’t thrilled by the name chosen for her newborn boy: Cosmo.

So how should you handle criticism of your baby’s name?

First, according to one of our most experienced maternity nurses, find out what the traditions are on both sides of the family. Where one side tends to discuss names in advance and get a consensus and the other side likes to do a big reveal, you already know that there’s work to be done in preparing the ground. Just talking to family members about how you as a couple are going to handle naming your baby can defuse a lot of potential tension.

Accept your feelings

Doubt or criticism about your new baby’s name can cause you to feel angry, or hurt, or both. But it will almost certainly make you feel disrespected; as if your most important and long-lasting decisions should be subject to ratification by others. Allow yourself to have your feelings, but don’t have them around the people who’ve upset you, instead talk to a trusted but neutral friend, or your maternity nurse, who’s probably got some good advice to offer, as she’ll have seen it all before! We talked to one maternity nurse who told a story about how one family uses the maternal grandmother’s first name as a baby girl’s second name, but the grandmother on the other side hated that name because her ex-husband’s new wife went by it. Tricky situation! However, there are usually ways around things, and in this case the couple went for a derivation of the name – Eliza rather than Elizabeth – which both sides could live with

Consider your options

Sometimes what other people have to say can be useful. In a recent case in Spain, a little girl’s name was changed from Hazia to Zia by the local registrar because Hazia means both seed and semen in Spanish and they felt this could lead to bullying. Whether we agree with the rather heavy-handed method, it’s certainly worth considering what other people have to say about a name we’ve chosen for a child, because their experience of it could be very different to our own and that could be useful information.

Keep a sense of humour

As any parent knows, children may grow into their names or away from them. Many parents have named an ‘Angel’ only to find their little boy or girl was the naughtiest and most mischievous in every group and there are plenty of little girls who were named Daenerys before Season Six of Game of Thrones whose parents might be regretting it now. There’s no way of knowing how a name will work out, and giving your child a second name can be a good way of offering them choices as they mature.

Trust your instincts

The most important thing is that you love your baby’s name. Supporting our children, giving them our uncritical love and building a good life as a family is what matters and if you’re confident about your chosen name, then go with it. After all, you’re the one who’s going to be saying it dozens of times a day for years to come, so make it something that will make you smile.

Originally published at:- https://www.maternitynurse.co.uk/